Here’s one for you. I think my new medication is giving me horrendous nightmares.
Ever since I can remember I have had some form of nightmares every night. But I deal, I get through and I know they aren’t real. They repeat and I become familiar with them and turn them into an adventure.
Last night my nightmare was new… Not a recurring dream I can brush away. Not familiar. And it felt incredibly real. There was blood and death and murder,and I woke up feeling like a terrified shell of a person.
Each night I am exhausted but can not sleep. Tonight I am exhausted, but afraid to sleep.
I feel so defeated and though I really am trying all I can to be okay I feel like things never will be. The appointments, the pills, the stress of it all…. I am not built for this. Fuck I don’t think I’m built for anything.
All of this is meant to be piecing me back together but I feel like I am being torn apart even more.